A Stoners World
by Killer Fang 666
Summary: Harry has trouble sleeping and is swept into Fred and George's world of drugs, boose, and sex. He discovers secrets, learns more about the real Hogwarts and and a blast traveling down the crazy roller coaster that Fred and George refer to as being a norma
1. Chapter 1

**Title: A Stoners World**

**Chapter: 1, My First Hit**

**Author: KillerFang666**

Disclaimer-I do not own Harry Potter. f I did do you really think I would share?

Harry lied in his bed thinking about the new school year. He heard Ron snoring in the bed next to him and turned once more onto his back. Why couldn't he sleep? It couldn't possibly be the little ferret who had won the last Quiditch match of the season. He did have something about him though. Harry couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the egocentric blonde was rather appealing.

"Well, since I can't sleep, I'll see who else is up."

Harry climbed slowly out of his bed, careful not to wake his roommate, and made his way down to the kitchen of the Black house. He opened the door and found, to his surprise, no one. Some one was always up when he came to the kitchen. He gave the room a confused look then headed to the fridge. After being unsatisfied from the fridge he moved to the cabinets and finally settled for a bag of 'Uncle Herbert's Thinned Potatoes'. He sat at the large wooden table and waited for another person to walk in. After half an hour and a bag full of chips Harry gave up waiting for someone and headed up the stairs to his and Ron's room. As he reached for the door handle he heard giggling and a, "Shhhhh, you're going to wake the whole house." Harry slowly walked down the hall and saw a light on under the twin's door. He lightly knocked and pressed his ear to the door.

"See, I told you. Hide it, hurry," the door opened a crack. "Yyyyeeees. Oh, Harry, you scared us. Well come in." Fred said a little more dramatically than usual.

"What on Earth are you three doing in here?" Harry asked as he stepped in and was assaulted with the smell of smoke. "And what were you burning?"

"We were, um…" Hermione looked nervous on George's lap who looked two times that.

"Oh for goodness sakes you two! We were smoking a bowl. Would you like a hit, Harry?"

Harry hesitated, "I've never smoked before." He looked questioningly at the pipe then glanced towards the couple on the bed.

"Oh, well, we can give you shotguns, if you like?"

(For all of you non-smokers out there a shotgun is when someone takes a hit then blows it into another persons mouth and the other person inhales at the same time. Think…directed second-hand smoke.)

"Uh, sure. Will it help me get back to sleep?"

"Oh, definitely. Give him a shotgun Mione."

"Uh, me?" She looked taken aback and glanced to George to see his reaction.

Actually he already had the pipe in his hands and the lighter sitting contentedly on top. He handed the pipe to the girl on is lap and nodded his head, "Go for it," he seemed amused. She took a sharp breath in, motioned Harry to lean closer. She leaned so close to Harry that they were almost kissing and exhaled. Harry inhaled deeply, at George's coaxing, and exhaled coughing.

"You ok? Its really hard not to cough the first couple times you smoke. Do you want another one?"

After Harry's coughing fit passed he looked around at the three Gryffindors and an incomprehensible feeling of joy overcame him and he smiled broadly. (To all smokers out there, I realize you don't usually get stoned so quickly but 1.) It's his first time and 2.) It's really good wizard dank (weed). So just go with the flow.) He slowly shook his head and looked very intently at the pipe. Harry got three more shotguns, a lot of laughs and slept like a baby that night.

"Harry get up, it's already eleven o'clock. What did you do last night?"

Harry woke to Ron's voice and looked up to find the other boy already dressed and looking down quite concerned.

"I heard you get up, then I heard you laughing with Fred and George, then when you came back you basically fell onto the bed. What did you do?"

"Fred and George just gave me something to go to sleep."

Harry quickly got up, gathered some extra clothes and headed for the shower without another word. While Harry was taking his extremely relaxing shower Ron went to talk to his brothers.

"Get up you two," Ron said as he marched into their room.

"What do you want Ron?"

"What did you give Harry last night?"

"For fuck's sake Ron, what are you babbling about?"

"Harry said you gave him something to sleep last night what was it?"

"Oh, that. Why don't you two come visit us tonight and we'll show you. Let's say, elevenish."

"Fine," Ron left in a flurry and headed to breakfast.

When Harry finally came down he was greeted by a troubled Ron, a perky Hermione, a tired Sirius, and two very disgruntled twins. He chose the seat next to Sirius and poured himself a bowl of cereal.

"So what's on the agenda for today?" Harry asked finally breaking the silence.

"Nothing, surprisingly. Molly has decided to give us the day off." Sirius mumbled beside him. Then he jerked his head up, suddenly remembering something, "Hey twins, are you done using that green…wrench. I need it to mend some pipes later on today."

"What?" Fred said, followed by a jab in the ribs from George. "Oh, that wrench. Yeah, come with us we'll get it for you."

As those three left Hermione and Ron took seats opposite Harry.

"I thought he said we had the day off? Why is he mending pipes?"

Harry and Hermione knew what was really going on with Sirius, Fred and George but they felt no need to inform Ron just yet. "Maybe the pipes are leaking over his ceiling or something."

"Yeah, probably. So, what are we going to do today?" Ron asked.

"Well, I was hoping we could just hang out. Play cards or something, I'm really tired," Harry said.

"What from?" asked Hermione as she took a bite of 'Wands' (a really good wizard cereal). She was already used to the morning after effects of weed.

"Oh, Fred and George gave him a sedative last night. Isn't that right Harry?"

"Yeah," was Harry's short reply.

"Oh, well after breakfast we should go play cards or chess or something."

"Okay."

The day passed lazily and the night came quicker than Harry could believe. Molly hadn't shown up all day to give them chores and all three teens were exhausted from doing nothing. At ten forty-five Ron and Harry were playing chess on Harry's bed.

"Check mate. Ha, nother game?" said Harry as he won his third match that day.

"No, actually Fred and George said that they wanted us to stop by around eleven."

"Really, why?"

"I asked what they had given you last night and they said to stop by so they could show me." Ron gathered the chess pieces and put them away. "Shall we?"

"Sure," Harry was definitely in the mood to get stoned again, but he wasn't quite sure how Ron would react to the situation.

The two boys snuck out of their room and padded down the hall following the snickers. They tapped lightly and were greeted by a soft, "Come in," and a few more giggles. The two boys entered, assaulted with Fred and George blowing smoke right in their faces. Ron coughed and Harry inhaled the intoxicating smell gladly.

"What the he…" Ron tried to yell, as his brothers lurched forward to quiet him.

"Shut up, Ronald. Do you want mom down here?" they whispered a little to quietly.

Ron shook his head a looked at his brothers with eyes that screamed you-better-explain. The twins removed their hands and sat down on the bed. George taking his blue-red-purple-black-and-clear swirl glass pipe, with a raised clear G on the side camouflaged so if you didn't know where to look you'd never see it. Fred taking out a clear-orange-and-light blue glass streak pipe, T in raised Navy blue lettering.

"You're just in time we were about to pack another bowl, or two." George burst out laughing, Fred following suit. Soon all boys were laughing and talking freely. Not long after a particularly prolonged laughing fit Fred was pulling a fifth of whisky out of a hidden floorboard.


	2. Chapter 2

Title: A Stoner's World

Chapter: 2-Tap Three Times

Author: KillerFang666

"Oh my god, if mom catches that with you, she'll be pissed man."

"Little brother, by the time she hears us it will be gone." Fred reassured as he turned the TV on. "Ooh, Jackass."

"What? How?"

"Her and dads room are directly over ours, we can hear everything coming from that room…"

"Which is not a gift mind you, you can hear some pretty graphic…"

"Yeah, listen to Fred, it's not a blessing, but by the time her feet hit the first floorboard, incense is lit and all incriminating evidence is gone."

"Not to mention that mom slept through you two walking through her room at full blast and didn't even see her." Ron laughed.

"Yeah, she could sleep through an earth quake."

"So can you."

That set the boys into a hyper intense laugh. The boys could barely hear the three little taps at the door.

"Oh, shit! George I thought you said she was coming by later. Well, what do I do?"

"What do you mean 'What do I do?'"

"Right, tell her to come back later." George stood up to go tell the person to come back later and Fred nearly vaulted off the bed.

"Go sit down, and I'll handle this." Fred walked to the door shaking his head. Once it was opened:

Fred's Point of View:

"Hey, Mione. I hope it doesn't bug you but Harry and Ron are here."

"Why would it bug me?"

"Because my brother has a giant crush on you."

"Well I guess it's time he realized that I'm yours." Hermione seductively bit her lower lip and walked into to the room backwards so she didn't stop looking at Fred.

Narrative POV:

'Who is that girl, she looks familiar?' Ron thought as the brown haired girl backed into the room. Fred closed the door slowly; not taking his eye's off her. 'Well she and Fred seem like they're, involved. I didn't know Fred had a girl friend.' As soon as she had backed to the center of the room and the door was securely tightened she turned around and…

"Hermione?" Ron couldn't believe his eyes. She looked different. Her hair wasn't frizzy and had been curled into tight ringlets that bounced at every movement. She was wearing a little makeup like eyeliner, mascara and a little bit of brown eye shadow. She was wearing a black mini skirt, a long sleeved black top with flaring sleeves. She looked ravishing.

"Hey, Harry. What's up, Ron? You look like you've seen a ghost." The girl teased as she threw her purse on the bed. "Be careful with that, it's got a fifth in it."

George dove for the bag, "No it doesn't you've drunk just about a fourth of it. Hey Fred what's a fourth of a fifth?" Fred wasn't listening. He had snuck up behind Hermione, grabbed her around the waist and spun her around in the air.

"Fred! Ah, let me down," She yelled with more joy in her voice than that of fear and anger combined. He got dizzy quickly and had to set her down. "Fred 'Riddle' Weaseley." She yelled while she hit him playfully.

"Riddle? What's that?" Harry asked confused.

"Fred's nick name. Hermione gave it to him." George looked too amused and went back to watching the show. Ron looked shocked, and hurt. Harry knew how Ron felt about Hermione and didn't know what to do. The couple collapsed into a, rather comfy looking, green armchair. The night passed by fairly quickly and Ron couldn't be happier to get out of there. As soon as they were in their room, "I can't believe they didn't tell us!"

"Us?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, uss…you knew? How could you know and not tell me?" Ron looked furious.

"I'm sorry it slipped my mind. I got really fucked up last night."

"How could you forget that your best friends biggest crush is going out with his older brother?"

"I'm sorry Ron."

"Okay, breathe Ron. Don't get mad at Harry. He didn't do anything wrong. It's Fred you have to deal with."

Before Harry could stop him Ron was out the door and down the hall.

"Fred how could you? You know I'm in love with her." Ron walked into his brother's room and stood over one of the twins.

"What? _You_? in love with _her_? You never asked her out. You didn't even hint that you liked her. I gave you _two_ years. Then I asked her out fifth year, you're third. You know what, she was really hesitant at first. She said that she was waiting for _you_ to make a move. So she said to ask her again in two weeks. So I waited my two weeks, at which time she was constantly making moves towards you, but you never got it. So I asked her and she said yes, under one condition. We keep it secret form you and Harry. She didn't want to hurt you. But you were blind anyway. Now go to bed before you wake up the whole house. You're wasted anyway. He probably won't even remember this in the morning," was the last thing Ron heard before he was dragged back to his room. As he was shoved into the door, he collapsed on his bed and didn't move until morning.

"Ron? Ron wake up. C'mon, you're gonna miss breakfast." Harry was trying to shake Ron out of bed.

Smack

"OW, fine stay in bed all day and be miserable and depressed." Harry walked to the door. "It's not going to go away, so you might as well get used to it now, before we go back to school. Because you know what happens then? Then they won't hide it at all." Harry walked out and slammed the door behind him.

"Fuck! Harry's right! Goddamn, bastard, always has to be right, fucking, prick." Ron mumbled as he fell out of bed and attempted to put on a pair of trousers. In ten minutes he was at the door with socks, trousers, half buttoned shirt and uncombed hair. At the bottom of the stairs he still hadn't buttoned the last two buttons and decided to leave them alone since they weren't cooperating. When he walked into the kitchen George laughed into his glass, faking like he'd coughed. Harry took one look at Ron and knew exactly what George had "coughed" at.

"Rough night?" He couldn't resist it.

"Shove off," was Ron's curt reply. George looked astonished for a second then started to have the coughing fit that was built up in his chest from the water.

"C'mon Ron, it was just a joke."

Silence

"You know what would really scare Hermione? If you acted like it didn't even bother you."

Ron only stared at his cereal bowl and shoveled the mush into his mouth. It wasn't long before Hermione walked in followed closely by Fred. Harry prayed that Ron behaved and, surprisingly, he did. He didn't yell, or scream or even give them dirty looks. The cherry on the icing though was that Hermione did exactly as Harry said she would. She was nervous and put off by Ron acting so cool.

"Morning, boys," Hermione said cautiously as she sat down. She received a couple of mumbled g'mornings and resigned herself to the bowl of fruit loops in front of her.

"Morning everyone, how did you all sleep?" Ginny bounced in, cheerful as usual.

For the rest of the day Ron walked outside, alone. Harry, Hermione, Ginny and the twins played a whole bunch of muggle games that they had found while they were supposed to be cleaning the attic. It was a tense lazy day.

"How is Ginny so perky in the morning?" asked Ron as he plopped down on his bed.

"She hasn't hit complete adolescence yet," Harry replied over his shoulder.

"Is she still dating Neville?"

"I don't know. You don't know? She's your sister." Harry questioned as he searched through his sock drawer.

"I know, I just hate thinking about her grown up. What are you doing over there?"

"Looking for…ah, found 'em." Harry turned and threw a pack of cards at him. "If muggles got one thing right, it's simple games. They're cards, here, I'll teach you a game." Harry took the cards and motioned for Ron to sit on his bed. "Now the game I'm gonna teach you is Egyptian Rat Screw."

" What!"

"Egyptian Rat Screw. First you split the deck in half, then we each set one card down at a time. The point of this game is to collect all the cards."

"How do you collect cards?"

"By slapping certain patterns. Patterns such as doubles, ace, ace, sandwiches, ace, three, ace, and red tens. Got it?"

" I think so." The two boys played cards until eleven-thirty.

"Shit, if we want anything to drink we better get over to Fred and George's room." Harry said jumping off the bed to put on his socks.

"You gonna come with me?"

"Yeah, I think I will. I could use a little jackass right now." So the boys headed down the hall to the twin's room and knocked three times.

"Get your buts in hear," came George's influenced reply.

"You showed, I'm so glad." Harry and Ron looked sideways at each other, wondering if they should proceed into the room or run away. They decided to be courageous, so into the room they ventured. The two sober boys quickly spied the lovebirds in the corner.

"They're picking out a game," George informed them. The couple soon joined the others with a selection of very different games.


	3. a letter

To all of my very patient readers,

I'm sorry I haven't been updating my stories, but I seem to have developed a bad case of writers block. I plan to go back through my stories and retype them, which will hopefully get my brain working again. I've also been working on a number of small stories which I have yet to post. Keep on the lookout for updated chapters and probably some new one-shots. Please, don't give up on me. I will write again.


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